This is it, the night before I turn 30. I’m not sure what to write. I went back and looked at Darcie’s post on her 30th. I read through my entire year as I blogged it. Do I write about what I didn’t finish? Do I brag about my accomplishments? What about my plans for the next 30 years of my life? What are my plans for that?
When I wrote my check-in post a month ago, a colleague at another institution said this to me on Facebook: “Even if you don’t finish all of these, i think you should be incredibly proud of yourself! you’re living life to the fullest – definitely the most important aspect to embrace. :)”
And she is so right. And I am constantly reminded of how loved I am. I was talking to Michael tonight and feeling bad for myself because I wasn’t doing anything special for my birthday tomorrow. No party, no friends coming in or anything and he reminded me in his own so wise way:
Live in the moment
call your mom
and your bro
and revel in the beauty that is your life to this point
as well as the potential that lies ahead
You have don A LOT
to build a really good life
and touched many live
you have only just barely tapped
I share this because I think it’s important to remember that we get wrapped up in our own worlds and what we want it to look like. I had such high expectations for this birthday…like it was going to be life-changing. You know what is life-changing? Just being alive, being here for my 30th birthday.
I could have given in to a lot of demons in my life…but I didn’t. I grew up happy, healthy and accomplished. I have a job I love, a partner I adore, family I would defend to the death, friends that are like family and a relatively healthy body.
I look at this baby face above…this face of potential and joy. This face that will cry countless tears of both joy and sadness, that will debate and speak out and sing and yell and whisper “I love you” and “I’ll miss you” and “I will be there for you, forever and ever.” Those little chubby legs will walk 11 miles through NYC this past March, and run 5Ks and do squats and plyometrics and dance on stage and on the dance floor and in the grass/mud. Those little ears will hear problems and accomplishments and words that will break her little heart and words that will mend it together again. Those fingers will play the piano, the flute, attempt the french horn and write volumes of poetry at a young age.
So I’m turning 30. But this life isn’t ending…I see a bright future in the next 30 years…and I can’t wait to share it with you all.